If you have to be there... it's a cult

Sometime last year my family and other family were sitting around in their living room discussing the "rules" imposed on people who "go to church" -- rules we had all experienced.

One issue that came up was the idea of attendance and calling people who had not 'been to church' in weeks. My wife was relating a conversation she had with another person in our former religious institution (some call it a church). This other person had told my wife how they hated dealing with the pressure of having to show up every week, lest they be cornered later and asked where they were the previous week. They were talking about being able to take a weekend and go do something with their family and not feel obligated to attend. At this point my wife responded to them with this simple statement... (it has since become something of a slogan around our circle of friends) "if you have to be there, it's a cult!"

When she said this, we all got a laugh... simply because it is so true! We have been duped into thinking that we are obeying the Bible's command to "not forsake the assembly of the saints" because we show up every week. I really don't see how coming to a big building, sitting in a pew and listening quietly to a preacher is what the writer of Hebrews had in mind when he wrote that.

There is something kind of funny about this concept of regular church attendance. We are considered to be a "more mature" Christian if we "attend church" once a week... or even a few times a week! and if we don't come every week, well, maybe that means we are just not very 'committed'. Whatever. Seems that living the life outside of the "meetings" is more of an indicator of maturity... hmmm.

Sadly, those who (maybe) out of pure motives (or not) will call or question another believer about his absence the past Sunday often just add to the guilt trip. Their motives may well be of good intentions... and it is good to contact people you have not seen in a while to encourage them... but asking them why they did not attend is missing the point. Sitting in a service on Sunday is not your calling as a Christian. That is the point.

The question is not "Where were you last week? We missed you in church." It should be something more like, "Hey, we have not had time to talk lately, how about we get together sometime to talk and pray?"

Last Sunday we were in the car on the way to the gathering of believers we meet with in one family's home. We knew that this Sunday one couple that had a history and a relationship with this group would be there to say farewell. However, our family did not really know or have any relationship with this family. We had only briefly met them before they had stopped coming to the group regularly. As we were driving I started thinking about it... And my wife and I talked about it... We were thinking that since this was mostly a 'personal farewell sort of thing' it didn't seem relevant or necessary for us to come.

I guess it felt like we were 'going to church' to simply attend a meeting... do our duty... ( we figured the people who had personal history with them would be the ones who would mean more to them and we would just kind of 'be there' as unknown warm bodies to them.)


So, instead... we went to a local park with our family and later went over to another couple's house to help them assemble some things for their baby who is scheduled to be born soon.

The refreshing thing was we had no guilt trip that we "missed church"... and the people who called us thought it was a great idea that we had made the choice we did that Sunday!

church is not a place, or a time, or a meeting or a 'service'...

WE ARE the church... WE ARE to be more than just a Sunday meeting. I think this "it's not a just Sunday thing" could be a big part of what I am feeling about how we should BE the church rather than ATTEND church.

Years ago I wrote up a little study pamphlet about "being the church". I can distinctly recall specifically wording it to say we should "BE the church rather than ATTEND it." One of the "Elders" at the church organization I was a part of at the time told me I should re-phrase it to say, "Be the church AS WELL AS Attend it." I struggled with his comment because my whole point was that ATTENDING anything does not make one the church. But he was afraid people would take that to mean they didn't have to attend church... and well, looking back on it... maybe that is what God was trying to tell me. I was still in the mindset of attending church too. But I knew there was more than attending. I didn't totally understand that what I had written was actually correct in it's extreme position... we don't have to "attend church" because we CAN'T "attend church". Church is not attended. We are church and should live like it daily.

So... I stick to my wife's statement... "if you have to be there, it's a cult!"